jesus, goddamn it!

new bs ides track

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 06:39:43 +0000

today was a good day. was able to link up the facebook, bandcamp, and wordpress pages. thank you star trek future. and with no future adieu.. first track of the bs ides album, which is, and will be forever, constantly updating. Now i can share this music here.

thank you.

if you like what you hear, click the picture, listen to the band, change the world, high five yer friends

Shit Horse

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 04:01:11 +0000

Get on that shit horse and ride.

Jimmy Dick He-Haw Rose
rough rider on the american one horse highway

There goes my hero,
wife in hand
Taking his place in Heebs11,
riding his horse through the desert behind a piller of smoke and fire,
never quite made it to the Promise Land
Aren’t we all a little like Hee-ha Roser, hyootin sand?
Thot he was running from, never knowing where to,
somewhere lost between Elijah the Prophet and Steeley Dan

There’s not time enough, never alone enough, not loved enough
or purposed clear enough, there’s no jesus loud enough, no hell quite hot enough
to keep the men from micing,
lost though living, unto death

The curse and the promise that keeps him
leather faced, ten feet tall & bullet proof,
scared shitless, bored and directionless,
gone all goo in the heart of the chest.
weeping at a soft rain,
helpless for the helpless.

Aren’t we all a little like Jim Dick Rossy the wild ditch dog?
Hee-Haw James, six gun stallion, the Holy Mother Church
& the teeth of the heart?
There goes the dead prophet
raising bones by the circle K,
on his flaming horses, in his sleeveless tee,
in the dead of the day.
Get on that Shit Horse and ride.

Dead. He still believes.
Forgiven of drug abuse
and crimes against his family.
still believes,
knows he is loved- dead & buried,
Sifting through the earth in a Jesus grave-
in the whole jesus
the single touch
the whole love
perfect love
forgiver
believer
jesus, the sun,
holds Little Jimmy by the hand,
cradles him at his breast, wipes away tears,
loves him, hates him, bleeds him, is him.
forever a family
a light inside
and a door to walk through.

churchdraw3

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 06:00:50 +0000

“..I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things…”

“…Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: a sceptre of justice is the sceptre of thy kingdom…”

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God..”

..to make his ways our ways..
to become godlike. Do Lord.
to become love. justice and mercy.
no bombs over bagmen
i believe
like a twig in wet waters
like a sim city seamstress
that somehow, with every unprovoked act of love,
every wet souls silent crossing-the-street prayer time,
we send satan down like a bolt of lightning from heaven
like a touch on the cheek
or even just remembering…
(you little saudi boy beat behind the bedroom door, what was i supposed to do?)
there aint no help like the hand of god
there aint no love like the home of holy
there aint no hope like the house of zion
aint no weep like the river of god
aint no joy like forever everlasting
aint no bleed without seeing
no bruise without healing
no laugh without loving
no falling without rising
no smother
no snicker
no fatter
no wiser
no whimper

only love, the face of god.

we will puke up our sin on the floor, all over the sidewalks, in the hallways,
on our new beds, on our laptops, and dinner tables…
it will take years, but we might stand a chance at looking at each other

No More Dead Babies

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 17:49:55 +0000

David Hickmen
One more dead baby for Jesus to sort out. Maybe theres something to the idea. Especially considering the alternitive- living with faith healer parents in a faith healing community surrounded with faith healing children on a god farm. Yee haw. He was the great-great-grandson of Walter White, the church founder, so it could be said that his fate was already sealed. Or not. Maybe he would lash out. He’d drop the god trade and make money slanging low grade weed and shooting home pornos for online grease. Or he could become Gandhi. We won’t know.
I’m not that calloused.
The murdering parents should be slowely strangled by the mourning mothers of infant babies who were lost dispite the best that medical science could offer. While the ‘Followers of Christ’ kneel in prayer- for only god determines life and death. Fuckers.
I would like to go to this church and ask who invented that idea. Cause it sure wasn’t any of the crazy shit bible bastards. Not even wild eyed Jesus himself, who always took life and death into his own hands, who raised dead lazarus, withered the fig tree, who healed even his enemies.
History is the sad reminder of how when pushed against the wall by circumstance or decision, ‘christians’ always make it worse. Perhaps not always… thats the hope anyways.. its just the good ones don’t get press.
David’s mom’s aunt testified on the stand that ‘it wasn’t gods will for david to live’.
Typical bullshit. Push it off on god.
If ever she is so unfortunate to meet God, he will tear her limbs from her body in Holy Fervor, like a blood starved animal crazy with rage, protecting his eggs.
The ace in the sleeve is jesus. He knows how Davids parents were brainwashed.. how his aunt was too. He wants to heal the rot, to cut it out at its root and sew the wound. But he’s tired of weeping. Jesus has shaved his head and quit his fast. He is a crow, feeding on the worms of disease. Let the little children come to him, not be sent to him.

whoever shall give to one of these little ones, a cup of cool water only, amen i say to you, shall not loose his reward.

Mathew 10.42

Tom Merton:

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 06:12:55 +0000

“
There is, in a word, nothing comfortable about the bible- until we manage to get so used to it that we make it comfortable for ourselves… Have we ceased to question the book and be questioned by it? Have we ceased to fight it? Then perhaps our reading is no longer serious.

For most people, the understanding of the Bible is, and should be, a struggle: not merely to find meanings that can be looked up in books of reference, but to come to terms personally with the stark scandal and contradiction on the Bible itself…

Let us not be too sure we know the Bible just because we have learned not to be astonished at it, just because we have learned not to have problems with it.
“

xtain no it alls

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 00:06:14 +0000

xtain no it alls

….(what happened to baby church???? the acts of the apostles???? casting lots & commie distro??? HOW DID WE GET SO CHURCH??)…..

got this one on loan…

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 06:15:57 +0000

With all the fireworks goin off tonight it could be easy for a proud new father to misunderstand. Perhaps they’ve all been told—- ….and so in celebration the city takes to the streets with more emotion than reserve, hootin hollering exploding colors in simultaneous serge of rejoicing: A life has been given! A baby has been born in HIS image! Somehow, life has awaken inside skin- the most complex machine has been built.. and it works!
Of course, the proud father knows that fireworks aint goin off tonight because Hattie was born.. It’s just fun to blow shit up.
It is interesting tho.. the priorities that whip through our head..
And that phrase= ‘created in his image..’ perhaps could use some makeover. How bout, created in his reflection upon a cesspool? or created in his chalk outline…? or burped up in the napkin after his holy plate of tacos…?
Unfortunately for generalizations, shitty people consistently rule and idiots are constantly amazing.. And the race is not given to the swift.
It’s just not a perfect system. Not right now. Which really cuts to the quick of the torment & longing: how can we figure out what’s going on from the inside? Impatient little devils, we christians especially, string ourselves up upon a cross we were saved from, all for the sake of who-knows-what. …Well, we were created in his image….
And thank the lord the generalization fail us time and time again or else we’d all be fuck stuffed in the hole in the wall by a large broomstick wielding inmate..

I was driving to work nine months ago, vanning across the grey freeway slip n slide. Court and I had been up late nights praying. talking, arguing about another baby. About one more. It all made sense. Yes the timing. Yes i want one. Yes. But, what I needed, what I really needed was a sign. A whack in the face that tells me it’s time.
Coffee opened up the veins. Blood started feeding th brain. IN an instant, alone in the van, I remembered by dream from the night before. It came back, like hot rain….. I was rolling over and over in bed, not sleeping a wink. In the early light I stood up to finally get a good look at what had been poking me awake all night. I pulled back the mattress. Signs. I had been sleeping on signs. Huge wooden signs that would point you left or right. Hundreds of them. Big and small, in every direction. Signs.

So he gives the weak ones hints. But there isn’t any drawing a map through this one. Everything you think and thot is wrong. Everything is right. We forget our births as quick as our deaths, too busy shooting off fireworks. And that is wrong too. Not one pastor blessed my child at her birth. No ordained no one showed up to welcome her in. But a crazy, toothless black man in line behind me at walgreens, beer in tow, laid a filthy hand on my shoulder and told me that i am truly blessed.
What does it mean? Something. Nothing. What does it add up to? What can we filter out that will add to our experience? Who fucking knows. I will say this:
We are the piss stains and oil streaks on the black top that will finally reach out towards each other in the name of Jesus Christ.
We are the Holy Ones. Not no class, the Holy Lost. The first, the last.

When we left the hospital, car loaded down, pulling out of the parking lot for the first time with our fresh new baby Hattie in the backseat, Courtney smiled, looked at me with those big fat saucer eyes and back at the baby. “Welcome to the circus,” she said.

paper for school you might like

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 07:09:18 +0000

In 1935, in keeping with his New Deal, Franklin Roosevelt began the Farm Security Administration as an effort to combat rural poverty. In 1941, a young African American photographer named Gordon Parks won a photography fellowship. Photographers and writers were hired to report and document the plight of the poor farmer. Ironically, the lasting image that he took was not out among the fields or food lines, but in the offices of the FSA itself. This image, ‘American Gothic’, was taken of Ella Watson, a member of the FSA cleaning crew, standing in front of the American flag, holding a mop and a broom.

The image itself is at once a powerful social critique. Even without any foreknowledge of the woman or her exact circumstances, the photograph provokes a certain unspoken understanding. The broom and mop tell us that times are hard. The expression on her face is not quite a scowl, but is definitely not happy. It almost appears as if she is looking out at Parks wishing she had not volunteered to be photographed. She is looking down her nose. She has simple glasses, simple hair, a simple dress. She is ready for work, not for a picture. The focus captures her small frame, arms mutely hung at her sides. Also in focus is the broom. Oddly enough, the mop is slightly farther off, just out of focus of the camera.

Behind Ella is a draped American flag. While it is not captured by the focus of the camera, it is every bit just as important. Independent of each other, neither the flag nor the woman could cause the viewer to reach the same conclusions. Even though it is not in focus, the flag takes up the majority of the picture. It looms behind her like an unshifting mountain. As it moves down towards Ella, a powerful light washes upwards toward it. There is a deliberate contrast between the lightened flag in the back ground and Ella’s dark skin. The flag frames Ella in. The stripes of the flag rain down on her. As the image rests in your eyes for a while, the horizontal stripes now turned vertical begin to appear more like bars than stripes. In fact, the photograph happens to have been taken from such a vantage as to have the foremost ‘bar’ of the flag -the top stripe- begin at the threshold of Ella’s left side, while the bottom ‘bar’ of the flag -the bottom stripe- ends directly at her right most side. It is as if the bars of the flag rest nowhere else but on her shoulders.

The name of this photo is ‘American Gothic’. Parks never liked the picture, thought it was too ‘unsubtle’. After he captured this image, he followed Ella taking more pictures of her, though none would prove as successful. If the image had somehow failed to make the appropriate social critique in the viewer, the name had better. The first ‘American Gothic’ is of course the painting by Grant Wood released 12 years earlier depicting the aging rural farmer and wife. 12 years is recent. I admire the grit. More than that, when I read the name of the photo my heart sank. Not only is this a critique of poverty and racism, but as I realized the correlation to the painting, I realized that it is even more than money and skin. Where is Ella’s husband farmer? The broom is in focus, she’s holding it. There is no one to hold the mop. No one to focus on. Ella is alone, in her poverty, in her affliction, standing against a racist country, all alone.

a bolt of lightning

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 04:43:12 +0000

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jesus-porn

Hyootin Rose Haw's — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 04:22:41 +0000

‘Hey, so I never got back to writing back to you, so i wanted to let you know that we’ve been praying for you. I know you said you didn’t want us to worry about your spiritual direction – but I do. So I’ll be praying about that too Anyway, what did you mean about nobody wanting to employ you??? What’s up with that? Could you do some kind of counseling course that would enable you to get a job in the social area? Is that the kind of thing you’re wanting to do or what?’

‘hello’

‘yeah sorry with all the dribble straight up. HI!’

‘i guess that i found a way to make money so i am not worried about work to much right now. and i am working on the spiritual thing right now as well. i have a lot of time where i am at. and it is proving to be a good time for me to really figure out what i am going to do this year and after that too.’

‘what are you doing to make money?’

‘I am a part of a Medical Study.’

‘cool, sounds scary’

‘its not. well at least the one i am in. and it pays very well. so i get to do what ever i wont or feel lead to do after this is all over’

‘sounds good.’

‘what is the old village like these days anyways. seems like there is a lot of new people there.’

‘there are so many foreigners here it’s not funny. Sometimes I wonder whether there should be so many, but God must have his reasons. I’ve been stuck in the house most of the time. I want to get to Kiev just to walk the streets a bit. Everyone here is doing fine. I think. Haven’t had much of a chance to really catch up with everyone. Sergei Chaban (blond guy) and Lyena (girl who worked for us) are engaged. Getting married in May. Larissa just had a birthday so we had a party for her. Al and Nat have two kids. There’s a guy here from Scotland doing up a big house so him and his wife can foster orphans, that’s pretty cool.’

‘wow!’

‘Cheryl’s doing great. She helps everyone. She serves her butt off.’

‘thats sounds like her’

‘Gav’s still in the house. Jono has an English school there. Masha is studying by correspondence for teaching.’

‘is the farm going’

‘Farm is dead. there was just too much competition from the Babushka’s for the produce from the farm to successfully work.’

‘thats too bad’

‘Nothing happening out there. Gav keeps himself busy driving people places all the time and cooking (can you believe that) There’s this guy here Shane from Australia. He married Daniel’s sister and they are living in Jon and Ruth’s house. He loves to cook and he’s been teaching Gav.’

‘who are these people and why are they there?’

‘Which people? Shane and Jemimah?’

‘all of them’

‘Shane came over to teach English in Jono’s English school. Simeon the guy doing the home for orphans also came to teach at the school Bruce always wanted to get into Russia and then he met Dan and came here hoping that one day they’d be able to send missionaries into Russia’

‘i don’t wont an answer i am just saying what are all of them doing in the village..trying to westernize it?’

‘i don’t think that’s our goal, that’s just where they feel they’re meant to be I guess – just like us’

‘well i hope not because they have a good thing going. culture wise.’

‘I know, it’s a great culture.’

‘its just funny because theres not much that i can see to be done in that specific place.’

‘you mean there are not great needs?’

‘well there are literally people starving and dying and war torn and all sorts of other things in other places that are very close
not saying that any body is in the wrong place i just see humor in the situation’

‘yeah I know and that’s why I wonder sometimes. I guess doors have opened to get here and so we come. Who knows maybe some of us will move on maybe we’ll take Ukrainians with us to places and start things there, don’t know the future.’

‘i wont to return myself…but i cant put myself in a place with that many foreigners’

‘yeah especially these foreigners or us foreigners I should so. I don’t think you’d quite fit in.’

‘i just wont to be with my friends not these new guys’

‘they’re alright’

‘i bet they are but Christians like to be hard on me’

‘We love to judge don’t we’

‘ya i guess’

‘I guess it’s what they see and if they see stuff first on the outside that contradicts “Christianity” and don’t get to know the heart first then that’s why they’re hard’

‘I feel like i stand for the Jesus that said ‘live with the poor and depend on me for everything. (paraphrased)’ and i also feel like that part of Christianity is dead and people are scared of dependency, even if they are depending on the creator of all things. the new thing is having a savings account and all the insurance that money can bye so your never in a tight spot.’

‘I know you’ve got a good heart and you want help people and bless people, but swearing, giving the finger, being rebellious, getting drunk and sleeping with your girlfriend are all things that most Christians would not think are things that a christian should be doing. When I see that stuff on your wall and photos and I think of our guys here seeing that I wonder what they think, like do you really think that that is pleasing to God to do all those things, do you really think He doesn’t care about that or do you just not care. I know that crap about having a savings account and insurance has just gone way too far and people just want to be safe. Half the time they are not “trusting God” they are scared stiff. There has to be a balance
I really worry for you man. And I can truly say that I don’t understand that culture that you’re in. I”m sorry I wish I could. I’m just simple, maybe too simple. But helping the poor and depending on Jesus has to be done with the right attitude.’

‘Ok, but what is more important the trivial things like what i do to my body. drinking and such are trivial in my book. they are surface level things. having the faith to lay down my head on the streets with the forgotten, broken, homeless youth is a lifestyle. having dependence on Christ is a what he is asking of us. anyways i make my decisions and i have a clear conscience.’

‘yes it’s a lifestyle, so I guess if you’re happy to live it and have those living it continue living it than go ahead and live it.’

‘i really don’t think that formula always applies’

‘So your dependence on Christ refers to giving you a place to lay your head, providing food for you, being at peace with your circumstances….? What else?’

‘other then a sense of purpose and a little bit of direction i don’t think there is much more needed.’

‘but if you just spend your days drinking and partying where’s the purpose and direction in that? Sorry I am being so judgemental, all I go off is you facebook, I don’t see you everyday. Tell me what you do to help people. I really want to know.
Are there people who live on the street that want to get off the street or do you find that most people are happy with that?’

‘i listen and at times will give advice but not often. and when they cant stand up for them selfs i will be there voice. nothing more, nothing less. and most of the kids i know and chose to be close with are eather on the street because they are far from home. so i give them my friendship and my hospitality to what i have in my disposal.’

‘so are you living on the street or do you have a place to call home?’

‘i stay with friends right now. its too cold to be out there.’

‘Well I think it’s great that you are there for those kids. And I think it’s great if you are giving them hope in Jesus. I’m just looking at some of your photos and looked through that Anti-Christ album. It’s so sickening I agree what the church has become. A make me feel good club. Keep up the good work. Just don’t kill yourself in the process. I love ya bro. I really gotta go to bed. It’s 11 and I said I’d go to bed early tonight. Gotta school the boys in the morning.’

‘take care, love ya too’

‘talk to you again soon I hope.’

‘oh ya any time sweet dreams’

‘thanks!’